How to Pack for a Destination Wedding as a Guest

Wondering how to pack for an upcoming destination wedding? Check out these quick tips and tricks and you'll be perfectly dressed all weekend! Cheers!

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Originally published: June, 2019. ​Updated: January, 2020

"Destination Weddings:" what's in a name?

Last year was an absolutely massive year for us on the wedding front and I've been pondering "how to pack for a destination wedding" ever since!

All-in-all, we attended 5 weddings in 6 months (my husband was a groomsman in 2 of them) along with 1 baptism, all scattered across various cities throughout the country! We're so lucky to have friends all over the place, after going to a number of different far-flung schools, and with my husband's extremely large family, we spend a lot of time as guests at destination weddings

The reality is, though we often don't use the term "destination wedding," unless a wedding is on the beach, many weddings are becoming "destination weddings" for a large portion of the guests. As people are increasingly likely to move away from home, marry people from far away, and attend schools "out-of-state," a modern wedding guest list is often composed of a majority "out-of-town" guests.

After all this time, I'm fairly sure that I've finally got packing for a destination wedding down to a science! So grab your carry-on bag, and let's start packing!

How to Pack for a Destination Wedding:
​Figure out how long you'll be in town

If neither of us is in the wedding, we generally leave home on an early or mid-afternoon flight Friday, depending on how far we're going, and return sometime Sunday afternoon. If the destination is super far, sometimes we'll leave as early as Thursday evening, depending on the events.

If one of us is in the wedding, regardless of destination, then we normally leave mid-day Thursday, to ensure that we don't have any travel mishaps that prevent us from attending important events. Unfortunately, I've learned this the hard way!

How to Pack for a Destination Wedding:
​Take pictures of all relevant documents

First things first! For weddings that are out-of-town, you want to make sure that you know where you need to be, and (equally important) when you need to be there!

Lately, I've been finding this one of the more challenging parts of weddings - most couples send information in the physical invitation that you receive in the mail, and often there's lots and lots more information on the wedding website. How to remember all of this - and make sure I have it on hand when I need it on the actual weekend?

Take pictures of all of the relevant paper documents you've received - invitations to the rehearsal dinner, the wedding and reception (including that little card that has the reception details), brunches, golf outings, bridal luncheons, and anything else. That way you won't have to carry all the invitations with you across the country and risk losing some vital piece! Additionally, make sure you've gotten a picture of the URL for the wedding website, including a password, if there is one. 

​Destination Wedding
Guest Packing List

Alright, we're ready for the main event! How to make sure you have all the different outfits you'll need for the various events throughout the weekend, as a wedding guest! 

Destination Wedding Guest Packing List:
​Packing cubes & a steamer

Particularly when you're trying to cram everything you'll need for a destination wedding into a carry-on bag, packing cubes are essentials for keeping everything organized! I love these light-weight packing cubes from AmazonBasics, which come in a pack of various sizes. 

You're likely going to have at least some wrinkles to contend with upon arrival, no matter how quickly you unpack all of your fanciest garb. I always pack our trusty steamer, available here, to get the wrinkles out before the big event. Best part - as long as it doesn't have water in it (and why would you want to travel with it leaking water everywhere), it can fit in your carry-on.

Destination Wedding Guest Packing List:
​​​Outfits for non-ceremony events

Destination weddings often include a large number of events aside from the rehearsal and ceremony/reception, including (but not limited to!) brunches, luncheons, & baseballs games - you name it!

If you will be attending any of those events, make sure you have all the right attire you'll need - and don't plan on wearing the same thing too many times, as the attendees will likely be almost 100% overlapping. It's normally only very close friends and limited family members that are invited to these types of events, and the bride's Aunt Maureen is definitely going to notice if you only brought one casual dress that now has a Cabernet Sauvignon stain.

​In summer, you can't go wrong with Lilly Pulitzer for summer wedding events. Lilly will get you through brunches, luncheons, and even a baseball game. I also love any tops from J McLaughlin - no matter what you end up doing at the event, no one will be able to see any sweat stains!

Destination Wedding Guest Packing List:
​Tourism outfits

If you aren't going to be attending those non-ceremony events, then in addition to the clothes we'll discuss below for the events themselves, you'll need:

• something to change into when you arrive on Friday afternoon and wear for dinner,
• along with casual clothes to wear Saturday during the day, if the ceremony is the afternoon/evening.
• a third outfit to wear home on the plane, though for me this is often some repeat of what I changed into Friday night and wore briefly out for dinner.

I love casual, machine washable pants from Eileen Fisher - they travel well and they can easily be worn a few times, while still looking fresh.

Destination Wedding Guest Packing List:
​Wedding guest rehearsal dinner attire

If you're scored an invite to the rehearsal dinner, that may also mean that you're in the wedding and attending the rehearsal. Both events are generally not as formal as the wedding, but the invitation may have a discussion of dress code, or a clarification that the rehearsal dinner is a barbecue, etc.

​If the rehearsal dinner is at a country club or restaurant, I normally wear a cocktail dress and heels, both of which are distinctly different from what I'll be wearing the following day, so that no one thinks I'm wearing the same outfit.
I try to keep the dress fairly simple for the rehearsal dinner. Nordstrom Rack has some great options, if you have plenty of time to shop!

Pro tip: while you can certainly wear the same heels to various events throughout the weekend, I'd pack a second pair, both for sore feet, and in case of accidents.

I didn't follow my own advice at our first wedding of last year and pulled my trusty "wedding event shoes" out of the bag, only to realize that they had a tear in the leather...

Destination Wedding Guest Packing List:
Packing for the wedding ceremony

A few reminders...

• Play it safe.
• Always pack two dresses that are appropriate for the ceremony/reception.
  • There's always the risk of spills & catastrophes, either in your suitcase or in the hotel. 
  • The weather is unpredictable.
  • If you're close family/friends but not in the wedding, it is always super awkward to be wearing the same color as the bridesmaids. In this case, I always ask one of the bridesmaids at the rehearsal dinner what color the dresses are, and, if needed, I make a last-minute switch on my attire plans for the next day.​

Destination Wedding Guest Packing List:
​Basic wedding ceremony guest attire

For the vast majority of weddings, cocktail dresses are my mainstay, unless there's an unusual dress code (which would be on the invitation) or if it's going to be outdoors.

​As far as actual examples of dresses go, I find that I generally opt for blues. For me, one of the scariest dress codes is "black tie optional" AKA you "should" wear black tie, but you don't "have to," which translates into...chaos. Generally, I find that people very close to the bride and groom abide by the dress code, and it's a bit all over the place for everyone else. Take your direction from the reception venue - if it's a super high-end country club or a New Year's Eve wedding, you should probably get the husband to tux-it-up. If you're worried about black tie optional for ladies attire, one option is to compromise with a high-low dress, so you won't feel out-of-place, regardless of what the other guests are wearing.

Depending on the timing of the ceremony and reception, there may be a significant gap between the two events. In some cases, if there is a large gap and the reception has a black tie dress code, you'll likely wear a different outfit to the ceremony and then change into the evening attire during the gap. This is unusual (not the gap, but the change in dress code), and even in the event that it does happen, many guests will go ahead and wear the black tie attire to the day time ceremony, for fear that they won't have time to change.

Destination Wedding Guest Packing List:
Destination weddings with guest attire changes

FAQ: Can I wear white to a wedding?

No. Unless you are attending Kim Kardashian's black and white-themed wedding or it is a wedding for which it is otherwise appropriate to wear white (such as a cultural norm), don't wear white as a guest to a wedding, unless you are the bride.

Destination Wedding Guest Packing List:
​​Outdoor weddings

Outdoor destination weddings offer unique challenge, even for the guests.

• To make my life easier, if the wedding is outside on grass, I like to keep my high-heels from sinking into the grass with heel protectors.
• No one wants to ostentatiously look like they're preparing for rain, but just in case, I slip a very, very, very small umbrella into my purse, that can remain hidden unless it's absolutely needed.
• I like to bring a very light-weight wrap. I invested in a cashmere option from J McLaughlin that I can use for everyday life, or at weddings, since it's not too formal. Having this on-hand is also convenient in the event of an unanticipated modesty requirement at a religious ceremony. 

Reminder: Don't Bring the Gift.

While this may vary by culture/regional tradition, for the vast majority of weddings in the U.S., the bride and groom would prefer that you do not bring the gift to the reception. Though there is often a table for gifts at the reception, sometimes there is not, and you may be stuck with it.

The bride, groom, and their families have a lot going on, especially at a destination wedding. They do not want to have to deal with gifts and cards, which also, sadly, often get lost in the shuffle. And, pragmatically, packing the gift would take up precious room in your suitcase!!

Thanks for stopping by!

I hope you find these musings helpful and that you have all the things you need as a guest at your next destination wedding! xx

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